Recently, everywhere I turn, the Universe asks me this one question:
“What are your wins?”
My Mastermind coaching program has a weekly Facebook post called “Wednesday Wins” and my Full Focus planner asks me to list my “3 Biggest Wins” each week. (BTW, the Full Focus planned is a-mazing…I’ve only been using it a few months and am totally sold.)
Okay, I digress. Back to the topic at hand: Wins.
I’ve been surprised by how hard it is for me to answer this question. I want to dodge, avoid, or jump to the next topic. Or if I do try to tune in to my Wise Mind around a win, my gut response tends to be “I survived, that’s my win.” Kind of a sad answer, eh?
What I’m learning is that it’s FUCKING HARD for me to connect with wins. I do a lot of shit everyday, so there should be some decent options to choose from. Yet I come up empty, and I’ve gotten very curious about this resistance.
I’ve broken it down into 3 factors that make it hard for me to recognize my wins.
#1 Negative Bias
I really want to tell you everything that went wrong (or more so, everything that didn’t go as perfectly as I would have liked): the ways I fell short, how things didn’t go according to plan, everything I’d like to improve, and everything I still need to do. It’s a constant soundtrack of Lack, Not Enoughness, and Never Finished.
#2 Focus on Improvement
Relatedly, I often feel like a system’s engineer, constantly vigilant for what might be improved. I really want you to ask me a different question, like “What are you working on?” or “How are you going to make that better?” These feel much more comfortable, safe, and familiar.
#3 No Time to Celebrate
It’s easy to minimize our accomplishments and the good things that happen in our lives. We can gloss right over them, barely giving ourselves time to exhale before moving on to the next to-do.
Cost of Ignoring the Wins
This bias towards what’s wrong or what could be improved really has its downsides. When I pick things to pieces, I don’t feel the joy, accomplishment, or pride that comes from recognizing the many wins that are happening each day. When I don’t allow myself time to celebrate the wins, I miss just that: the celebration! And Lord knows I could use more levity and festivity in my life.
I’ve started a new practice: taking time to identify and verbalize my wins (be it Wednesday Wins or wins any other day). I’m practicing this when asked for a win by a friend or my planner. I’m also practicing this when my head hits the pillow at night (as it really wants to catalogue the ways I fell short or the millions of to-dos left undone). I’m highlighting what did go well, however big or small. From returning an email to shaving my legs to taking a few breaths while really noticing the full moon…there are wins everywhere if we simply make space for them.
How might our lives be different if we invested energy in celebrating our successes?
Want to try it? I want to hear your Wednesday Wins! Comment below or send me an email.